Bath Freshersweek FAQ

Last time I updated my blog, my location was Toulouse, France. This came to a sad end in late July this year, and the academics of Toulouse could breathe normally again. However, the great wonders of engineering might have eluded me, but not beaten me. I have simply chosen to move the battleground. It is under these back-lights that I arrived at the campus of the University of Bath. Challenges of herculean proportions awaited, and along with fellow students I stood proud and storing while a orchestra, a 1000 strong, played John Williams-soundtracks and angels sang in the sky.

Some critics have doubted my words, and I shall therefore avoid telling of the great battles between good and evil in the epic of Freshers week 2009. However, in an effort to quench your curiosity, I will write an FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) to give people an idea how the world turned these days in autumn 2009. Bear in mind that it's the questions that's important. The answers can come some other time.

1. Where is Filip?

On the behalf of my readers, I might add: Who is Filip? Filip is one of my flatmates, or so it is written in the official papers. However, so far he has not been spotted on campus, even after extensive enquirers by the all the other inhabitants of the house. Now Filip is the ultimate Man of Mystery, and the little we know of has paved the way to greater legends. He was last seen battling against Chuck Norris for universal domination. You will never need an introduction with Filip: You know it is him at once when you see him. It is widely believed that when Filip arrives, it will be with a great parade, riding a white elephant. It is also widely believed that some of this information came from people who were in a heavily abbreviated state, and/or who were smoking tealeaves. This is unfortunately far more difficult to prove.

2. Which idiot thought togaparty was a good idea in freaking October?

These English and their dressing-up parties. It is never enough to dress as yourself, as you are probably pretty boring. That is sadly enough the truth, so the Freshers in Bath have seen their new comrades in lots of different outfits, from bikinis to togas. The amount of clothing per night varied greatly, and some of the days, it just was not enough. It is not exactly cold outside, not for a Norwegian anyway, but why on earth do you need to challenge fate? There are clothes made to wear in the autumn and Bermuda-shorts or togas are not amongst these.

3. Who the is responsible for the firedrill, and where does he live?

At 08:29 on Saturday morning I was sleeping quietly in my bed in Eastwood. I had been up to about o4:00, and was in desperate need of sleep, since it had not been prioritized throughout the week. I do not remember what I was dreaming, and to be honest, you might not have wanted to know anyway. The moment the clock hit 08:30, something bizarre happened: A high, annoying sound starting slamming into my eardrums, and I immediately woke up. The fire-alarm had started. Knowing I would be heavily fined if I ignored it and went back to sleep, I reluctantly got up. On the other hand, I also knew I had the time to get dressed before I got out. This was not known by many others, so boxers and t-shirts where the majority of the mannequin of the morning. There was a cold wind blowing that morning, and the leader was not afraid of his own voice. He used the time he needed to inform us that this was the only drill of the year, but that it was very important that we reacted if the alarm started. After about fifteen minutes, the angry students had transformed into cold, desperate forms, ready to get into bed. As we were walking back in, I could not help but to find comfort and even pleasure in the misery of the more lightly dressed. I went back to sleep feeling great.

4. Where are all the Norwegians?

-Hello. You are not by any chance Norwegian, are you?
-No...
-Oh, sorry. You see, I'm Norwegian and I heard there should be a couple of Norwegian girls around. I was told to look for someone tall, blond and beautiful.

There is said to be quite a few Norwegians around, but I seem unable to find them. I heard stories of two Norwegians girls, and made the worst pick-up line of all time based on that information. I also heard there was a Norwegian girl in the house next to mine. I did not take actions, as I was not going to go knocking just because of what some drunk teenagers were telling me (I turned 20 this April. Therefore, I now am entitled to patronize teenagers). I did meet two on Friday, and my neighbour was clearly visible in her "russe"-hoodie at the fire-drill. Still, the majority of Norwegians have still managed to elude me. Honestly, I'm okay with that: If I wanted to hang around Norwegians all the time, I should never have left Norway in the first place.